How To Stop Back Talk
This article gives specific tips on dealing with Back Talk
Kids love talking back when what you are asking them to do is not a preferred choice. For instance you tell your child
Parent: It’s time for bed!
Child: But I’m not tired.
What you need to do before you ask your child to go to bed is to think of the consequence for refusal before you give the direction. By doing so you avoid engaging in a 3rd world war with a 4,5, 6 year old or even a teenager. Because your child has something to say in response to every comment you make, it is important that you plan ahead.
Below are some tips to help you come up with a good consequence for refusal
First of all, you can completely ignore back talk if no one is in harm’s way. Some one might ask how do you ignore? My response will be. Can you walk away? Can you give no eye contact? Well go ahead and find something else to do instead of giving back talk attention. Ignore for as long as you can.
If you have to say something at all, you could say something like this if it is a screaming type of back talk;
“I will appreciate if you tone your voice down and speak politely, that will get my attention, otherwise I’m sorry” and walk away
Or
- What’s their favorite toy, movie, or activity that when you deny them access to will make them unhappy?
2. Which fun activity is available the next day? Park, play with new toy, phone, IPad, favorite snack shop, etc
3. Furthermore, you can also count down with your child or have the child count down.
For instance you can begin your request something like this:
Parent: “I know you love this movie but its late so you need to be getting ready to go get some sleep in 10 minutes so you can be rested enough for school and we can drive by the snack shop after school.
Child: Really! Ok mom/dad
Or
Parent: In 10 minutes you will be going to get some rest/sleep so the TV will be turned off soon.
Child: “But I’m not done watching….”
Parent: …Say nothing… “8 more minutes”
Child: ….”But mommy that’s not fair…..”
Parent:… Say nothing…. “5 more minutes”
Child: Crying, wailing etc.
Parent: … “2 more minutes”
Child: crying continues
Parent: Ok time’s up. Turn TV of… ok good night… bed time routine if you have one ( story/pray/etc)
Also, instead of counting down, you could ask your child “do you want to watch for 5 or 10 minutes?”… always select/choose the time frame that works for you and give the child 2 choices. If you leave it to your child to make that choice… they could be watching till the next morning I’m sure…hahaha. By giving them two options, you empower them and that makes them cooperate with you better.
Hope this helps. Let us know how it goes and how you deal with deal with back/talk. Remember there is no one right way. Peace and Love.
Christiana Amo-Kyereme
